Wednesday, 21 November 2012

THREATS IN EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE





THREATS IN EUROPE: BY JOHN CLEESE


John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards."
They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right."
Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

WHAT'S NEW?
A final thought -" Greece is collapsing the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray.Welcome back to 430 BC












Sunday, 18 November 2012

Westminster released false figures to ‘distort’ Scottish economy.


Westminster released false figures to ‘distort’ Scottish economy
Posted by Alexander Porter 1569.20pc on November 07, 2012 · Flag


SNP MP Stewart Hosie has accused the treasury of misleading the Scottish public

Scottish news: Westminster released false figures to ‘distort’ Scottish economy

by Laura Wilkinson

It emerged last night that a UK treasury report released last week used adjusted figures based on the 2001 census, releasing findings over Scottish public spending raising fears that UK civil servants will be deployed to manipulate public opinion ahead of Scotland’s independence referendum.

Stewart Hosie, SNP MP for Dundee East, has accused UK treasury’s use of inaccurate and misleading public spending figures in Scotland as a “dodgy dossier of meaningless figures” designed to support the anti-independence campaign.





The treasury report based on the 2001 census to project Scottish public spending per head whereas figures for London and the UK were based on the 2011 census. The treasury’s findings show the average public spending per person in Scotland to be £10,088 compared to £9,613 for Londoners.

However, it has been reported that if the numbers for London had been calculated using the 2001 census figures, the average Londoner would be the recipient of £678 more than the average Scot.

The manipulation of the figures will heighten Scots' distrust of Westminster and the UK’s civil service at a time when Unionist parties are struggling to instil confidence in the UK parliament’s competence.

The treasury report claims that Scotland is one of the most costly areas for UK public spending and so the revelations of using misleading data will be widely perceived as an attempt to undermine Scottish self-confidence by encouraging a view of Scots as 'subsidy junkies'.

Mr Hosie said that the report did not take suitable adjustment in its calculations, underestimating the UK population distributions and not considering the tax contribution per capita.

He said: “The fact of the matter is that Scotland contributes 9.6% of UK tax revenues despite forming just 8.4% of the UK’s population.”

Danny Alexander, Treasury chief secretary, used the figures to persuade the public that Scotland benefits from being part of the union with the UK.

The SNP has criticised the use of the figures by the no campaign as “painting a distorted picture of Scotland” to win support for the anti-independence campaign.

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Thursday, 15 November 2012

BBC USING FAKE IMAGES FROM GAZA

FAST FORWARD TO 2.13 MINUTES:

See the guy carried away wearing the fawn jacket.


THEN FAST FORWARD TO 2.43.

The same guy miraculously recovered and directing the rest of the faked causalities. You would think after the recent descent in to shit that the BBC would have tightened up on it's journalism. It now does not even have the credibility of Comical Ali.







Scot Independent.

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