TELEGRAPH NAE MAIR

2012-01-18T15:19:00.002Z

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/international/%27oh-no!-it%27s-the-daily-telegraph!%27-says-scotland-201201174774/

'Oh no! It's the Daily Telegraph!' says Scotland
17-01-12

SCOTLAND was last night fleeing in terror after a surprise attack from the first battalion of Her Majesty's Daily Telegraph.

Image
Yon Telegraph shelters are awfy handy like
The newspaper launched an all-out assault on the tiny northern country-ish with repeated salvos of debt-ridden commentary and a devastating air strike about the Euro or something.

Communities across Scotland dived into Telegraph shelters, huddling together as the newspaper's air force bombarded them with made-up facts about oil revenues and why Alex Salmond wants to pelt the Duchess of Cambridge with 'neeps'.

Bill McKay, a rebel from Carnoustie, said: "Ah hud a squatch at the Telegraph websitey aroon ten o' the clack.

"Within meenits the sirens were blairin' like a hoolie.

"Even inside the shelter ah could hear the terrifyin' soond o' some fat, baldin' English journalist sayin', 'you'll be exactly the same as Zimbabwe!'.

"Ah don't mind tellin' ye, ah fair shat mahsel."

Meanwhile, as at least seven heavily kilted weirdos launched a counter-attack near a 'burn', Captain Peter Oborne of the Queen's Light Telegraph shouted 'Princess Anne!' before collapsing into a hedge and urinating involuntarily.

Under the Geneva Convention any Scottish person that captures him will have to call him a taxi

UNCLE TOM HARRIS

2011-12-21T15:54:00.000Z

EXCELLENT POST BY SCOT GOES POP.

@Tom Harris MP.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Admin : Probing the psyche

Where does he find the time? No sooner has Admin been appointed by @Johann Lamont to the vital role of Shadow Minister for Conducting a Review Into the Use of Modern Technology (looks like he'll be rivalling Wendy Alexander's old status as 'Minister for Everything'), than he's back at the @Labour Hame grindstone, churning out yet more public-spirited citizen journalism. In his latest article, he poses the thought-provoking question -

"Does it matter that a prominent nationalist website doesn’t consider accuracy as important?"

Thought-provoking, I mean, in the sense that it provoked a few other questions to creep into my own thoughts. For example -

1. Does it matter that a right-wing politician joined a left-wing political party solely for the purposes of career advancement?

2. Given his stated concern about the supposed lack of journalistic standards at Newsnet Scotland, does it also concern him that his repeated use of the term "NewsNat Scotland" would have fallen foul of the Better Nation moderation rules had he submitted his piece as a comment there, let alone that it would have precluded the article's use in virtually any other serious publication?

3. What is the significance of his repeated use of the spelling "Yoonyoonist" when characterising the speech patterns of nationalists, given that it is a perfectly natural phonetic rendering of how anyone would pronounce the word? (Unless of course "Un-yun-ist" is preferred in the Harris household.) Could it, by any chance, betray his extraordinarily authoritarian mindset, ie. that he is incapable of seeing people who diverge from his own views as 'mature'? That his brain automatically converts their speech into 'baby-talk', and the only response he can imagine is to try to patronise them into submission? In a nutshell, does he have a deep subconscious need for others to see him as a father figure who they look to for guidance and chastisement? And should we fear for his well-being now that his own party have comprehensively rejected him for the father role, instead preferring him for the (admittedly mega) technology review role?

4. Does he have no sense of shame about going into apoplexy over hair-splitting examples of the "inaccuracy" of others, given that it's only a matter of weeks since he lied through his teeth that a nationalist banner outside the Royal Concert Hall had read "End English Rule", and given that we all know he'd never have half-heartedly acknowledged that gross inaccuracy unless he'd been supplied with incontrovertible photographic evidence? What conclusions are we entitled to draw about a politician who does lack such an appropriate sense of shame?
Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to Facebook
Posted by James Kelly at 1:59 AM
Labels: @politics, @Tom Harris
2 comments:

Anonymous said...

His accusation is also incorrect too.

He made the comments, which he does not deny making.

The comment was published the day after the result was announced, though it looks like Party insiders knew the results a little in advance

I think you are right, no one is allowed to disagree with Admin
December 21, 2011 8:29 AM
DougtheDug said...

Tom Harris appears to be a celebrity in the modern style. Everyone knows who he is but no-one can quite work out why.

He's a back bench MP who got less than 8% of the vote in his bid to be Labour's Scottish regional manager.

As someone who appreciates good writing even if it is from a unionist perspective his last self-penned blog was mediocre to say the least. He got awards simply for being a unionist blogger in a nationalist dominated blogosphere.

I vote we stop talking about him because getting others to notice him appears to be his sole aim in life.
December 21, 2011 11:43 AM

HOW THE FRENCH VIEW THE ENGLISH!

2011-12-15T19:05:00.001Z

http://charliehebdo.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/mais-qui-veut-des-anglais-dans-leurope/

IT'S GETTING NASTY OUT THERE, ARE WE GOING TO SEE ANOTHER HUNDRED YEARS WAR?

WELL DONE BIG MAN

2011-12-12T16:32:00.000Z

IT'S TIME THESE SCUM BAGS WERE CHALLENGED

Key bored warrior

TELEGRAPH NAE MAIR

UNCLE TOM HARRIS

HOW THE FRENCH VIEW THE ENGLISH!

WELL DONE BIG MAN