Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Boycott Scotland

Well done who ever spoofed this site.







Boycott Scotland

"In Scotland, we are a people who pride ourselves on our humanity. The perpetration of an atrocity and outrage cannot and should not be a basis for losing sight of who we are, the values we seek to uphold, and the faith and beliefs by which we seek to live."

– Kenny MacAskill, Cabinet Secretary for Justice

Abdel Baset al-Megrahi did not show his victims any humanity or mercy, so why did Scotland decide to show him any? How can we possibly show these terrorists that we will not be intimidated if we continue to be better than they are?

The bombing of Iran Air Flight 655 Pan Am Flight 103 was a courageous cowardly act deserving of the Legion of Merit no mercy.

The actions of the Scottish government are despicable. They have freed a man responsible for the mass murder of 270 innocent civilians, therefore, they, and the rest of Scotland must be held responsible, for ultimately the people of a democratic nation are responsible for its leadership.

Because of this I urge every American to Boycott Scotland. It is the only way we Americans can ensure that every nation maintains and respects our rules, our laws, and shares our viewpoint.
The Boycott

Every self-respecting American should immediately ensure that they do not purchase, own or use any of the following as it could be construed as supporting Scotland and their terrorist friendly regime.

Road Travel

The pneumatic tyre, tarmac and the two stroke engine are all Scottish inventions and as such should be avoided. Unfortunately it is best if you don't cycle either as that was also invented by a Scotsman. For the time being please walk instead.
Television

Set down the remote control, unhook the cable and turn off the television set as its inventor was born in Helensburgh. I know it might be difficult, but think about all the time you will have free to do other things, just make sure you walk to them.
Communication

I urge you to please get the word out about this site and the Boycott, but do not telephone your loved ones or write to them (best to avoid postcards, fax & radio as well).
Bridges

Please do not use any of America's suspension bridges as their construction is due to another Scottish invention.

If you do have a suspension bridge in your area please consider contacting your local government official and demand its removal.
Finger Printing

Any American citizen convicted using finger print evidence should be pardoned immediately.
Medical

Moms to be, cancel that ultrasound. Kid taken a tumble down the stairs? Am sure they'll be ok, just ensure they don't have an MRI.

All diabetes sufferers should immediately cease all use of Insulin (its ok, you wouldn't have been able to inject it anyway)

If you are currently taking any of the following (or any other beta blocker) dispose of them;

* acebutolol
* bisoprolol
* esmolol
* propranolol
* atenolol
* labetalol
* carvedilol
* metoprolol
* nebivolol

and you'll have to find an alternative treatment for that unfortunate bout of syphilis
Cold beer

Remove all beverages from the fridge, a cooler will have to do. Just remember that every warm beer is bringing us one step closer to Scotland relenting. A reduction in liquid consumption might be a good thing as every patriotic American should remove the flush toilet from their bathroom.
Sport

While enjoying your warm FREEDOM™ beer please petition your local government official to begin disbanding the American PGA (remember not to use the telephone, post, radio, fax or a computer - perhaps their office is within walking distance?) also you should urge Lance Armstrong to be a true all American and give up cycling.

The UK

Although the final decision fell to Scotland we should also apply pressure to the rest of the UK in the hope that they can influence Scotland, a tactic which has worked well in the past. Because of this I advise every American to also remove the following products from their homes.

Pencils, Clockwork Radios, The World Wide Web, anything containing LCDs, microphones, SMS messaging, typewriter, fiber optics (inc cable internet & television), Universal Turing machines (i.e computers), pocket calculators, anything containing RAM, 3D Computer games, MP3 Players, PDAs, any clothing manufactured with the aid of a sewing machine, anything made of polyester, Adjustable spanners, anything that uses an electric transformer, diesel engines, any torches etc containing LEDs. Oh, and no more of mom's apple pie.
Show your support

Please send this page on to every patriotic American you know, we must raise as much awareness as possible for this campaign to make an impact. If you would like to send the webmaster a message of support you can do so by emailing contact@boycottscotland.co.uk

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