BISTO KIDS

A recent derailment of a train from London was caused by a venting of public anger, such has been the force of that anger that THE BISTO EXPRESS floundered of the tracks and bewildered and distressed politicians have been found wandering around covered in gravy, dazed and confused muttering "it was the rules that were wrong." Some of them were waving cheques around desperately trying to reserve their seats for future journeys. Margaret Beckett said on Question Time, "LISTEN," but no one would. She is of the view that WE do not understand. OH YES WE DO. Another BISTO KID said that he needed a trouser press because he liked to look smart.

The arrogant supercilious Beckett, who looks at people she feels the need to be condescending to as if they have just farted, said also that they need to claim for food because if you work at Westminster as a politician the chances are you will be eating out in restaurants. Well whipiteedooda and whoopee for you Beckett. And there was me thinking they had subsidised restaurants in Westminster. I can excuse people many things, even bearing a likeness to Geronimo's horse. But her sneering arrogance is inexcusable.

I worked for a time as a truck driver moving freight all around Europe. The IR have very specific rule how much you MAY be paid to compensate you for expenses and the fact that you are kipping in your bunk in your truck, and it is not very much. However if you are an MP you seem to be exempt from the attentions of the IR.

Many people in this country travel vast distances on a daily basis to get to work, AT THEIR OWN EXPENSE, and take sandwiches with them as they cannot afford to do otherwise. I am from the North of Scotland. I know of people who travel as much as 100 miles per day to get to work and do a 12 hour shift. They do not get the luxury of second homes, they can barely afford to run one.

Our forces who are in the news to much due to being killed in illegal wars and in the lack of decent modern equipment, spend months at a time away from their main homes and get paid a pittance for it. Even the homes they are provided with at base are pathetic, and badly maintained, which they have to pay for out of their meagre wages. They get very little tax relief for being out of the country also. And guess who decides what they get rewarded with? Yes the very pigs who are now wailing like orphaned lambs.

It has occurred to me on more than one occasion that this necessity for MPs to be in Westminster is now a load of old bollocks. We have split the atom and sent men to the moon. The communication technology available today is mind boggling and changes by the day. If it is so painful for these bleating martyrs to work away from home, then let them work from home, how civilised is that? It would be cheap at twice the price to have video conferencing built into their homes to allow them to perform their parliamentarian functions. Including voting.

Voting would be much more representative as members would be out of reach of bullying whips.

Attendance would then be electronically logged and they could be paid on the time that they spend logged in and by submitting monthly time sheets along with expenses, ON LINE, transparent immediately ON LINE, so that we the employers can see what they have been up to. Every expense paid, even 39p bath plugs must be accompanied by an official receipt. Compulsory live web cams can be set up in their office to verify what they say they are doing. In that way mothers who have young children could easily become MPs, so making parliament much more representative with many more women in attendance. Westminster can be turned into a themed hotel where clients can be attended to by wee fat ugly men in wigs and tights. Ordure! And whipped accordingly.

The scandalous revelations has now created the right time to introduce this modern democratic transparent method of governance. Foreign trips need not take place as all research can now be done on line, so doing away with expensive junkets.

The unpalatable truth for the snobby politcal elite is that we have to many politicians at all levels, and we need a cull. That nettle should be grasped firmly now. We are over goverened. Independence would deal with some of that but even then we will still have to many politicians, both local and national. And all quangos should be disolved forthwith we cannot afford them. make the politicians earn their corn.

This would work for Holyrood and the EU. An online work sat nav can show the specific location of every MP and what they are doing, every minute they claim to be on duty. This can be live along with the web cam feed. If they don't use it they don't get paid.

Hourly salary rates should be linked directly to the average wage of their constituents, so that people like Mr Speaker are provided with an incentive to improve the lives of the people who employ him.